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User blog:JackiusMaximus/Pizzaroni V The Mad Pooper: Dawn of Pizza
Oh boy yeah Warning this is extremely shitty, but in a good ironic way The story It was all a normal day in Vito's Pizza, located in New Pisa, New York. Until a flood hit the city, with many people dying with only some surviving. However the only thing that was safe was Vito's Pizza, as such, many people went to the Pizzeria for safety. Eventually however the flood stopped and most people mysteriously went back to life. Eventually Vito's Pizza's founder and only cook, Vito Mario Luigi Marco Alessandro Giuseppe Giovanni Vincent Daniel Roberto Andrea de Pizzaroni went back to work. However as his Pizza was slowly cooking, lightning struck and it looked like the Pizza was burning inside of the Oven. However as Vito looked, he saw that his Pizza turned into a man, a man who looked similar to him and even had the same Chef uniform. "What-sa fuck!", said Vito. This Pizzaman also seemed to have had a note in his mouth. It said: "Dear Pizzaroni, we gave him to you so you can teach him the Pizza powers, which he would use to kill the Mad Pooper. He shall be named Pooperton Pizzaroni." "What-sa fuck does this shit mean?", said Vito. "Can you make a spicy meatball?", said Pooperton "Of coursa!", replied Vito. Ever since this day, Vito trained Pooperton to have the Pizza powers, until eventually Pooperton became as powerful as him. Soon Pooperton moved out into his own, sexier home. It was a sexy mansion with a pool and a big ass fucking living room. It was everything Pooperton dreamed of. Everything would change for him until he went to Detroit and noticed a Chinese salesman. This salesman had a VHS tape that had the title "Ron Jeremy is the best motherfucker in the Universe" written on it. Curious, Pooperton asked if he could buy it. The Salesman replied: "Of course you can you fucking idiot!" And so Pooperton bought it and put it in his VHS. This would change his life forever, as he watched this magical tape. "Oh my fucking god!", said Pooperton. Pooperton was impressed that he planned on meeting Ron Jeremy himself, however he first had to go to LA to finish his Vacation. Some days later, he was finally in LA, and "coincidentally" he met the man he wanted to meet days ago, Ron Jeremy. "Oh it's a blessing to meet you, Sir Ron.", said Pooperton. "You too", said Ron. Soon they became good friends, and eventually, Pooperton was notified of his destiny by a unknown spirit "Lord Pooperton! You need to create a team of glorious Pizza lords to defeat the evil of the Mad Pooper! Just do it already you fucking kumquat!", said the Spirit. And so Pooperton notified Ron about this, and they went to find members of this new Team. The first thing they see outside is a Ship battle between Captain Feathersword, a infamous pirate, and J.R. Spinkleworth, a British captain during the Napoleonic Wars. "Hey! Can you motherfuckers stop fighting and talk with us!", yelled Pooperton. Both Feathersword and Spinkleworth stopped and were ready to talk with Pooperton. "I want both of you for a team of great Pizza lords to kill the Mad Pooper", said Pooperton. Neither of them understood what he was talking about, so Pooperton explain who the Mad Pooper is. "The Mad Pooper is a evil demon lord who is the personal assassin of Satan. She can literally be seen everytime before a great tragedy happens", said Pooperton Both Captains agreed to join, and thus they continued to find members. Soon they go into the forbidden part of the City, where they find a Cowboy who seemed to be pointing a gun at all of them. "Uh hello?", said Pooperton. "You fuckin' talkin' to me?", replied the Cowboy. "We want you to join our team to destroy the Mad Pooper.", replied Pooperton. "Ah, the Mad Pooper, i know about the fuckin' demon", replied the Cowboy. "I would happily join you motherfuckers if that means i can destroy her with you lads.", said the Cowboy. And so they had a new member for their team, and they continued searching. While nearby they find parts of a plane with what seemed to be a CIA agent near it laying on the ground. "Hello?", said all of them. This CIA agent woke up and said "Dr. Pavel, i'm CIA." None of them seemed to know who Dr. Pavel was, but that didn't matter as they could just feel his powers just by looking at him. "We want you for our team created to destroy the Mad Pooper.", said Pooperton. "Tell me about the Mad Pooper! Why does she throw the shit?!", said the CIA agent. They all explain again who the Mad Pooper is, but i don't think i have to explain who she is to you fuckers reading this shit story because at this point you know who she is. The CIA agent now joined their team, and he introduced himself as "Bill Wilson, CIA". As they continued walking around the country, they eventually find the notable Resistance solder Mitchell Shephard, infiltrating a Combine remnant. They can all see his fucked up face and because of that they know that he would make a good member of the team. They tell him about it and he accepts to join. Soon they go through an abandoned city, with them seeing Captain America from Earth-697064 fighting some mafia goons. To them it's obvious why they should have him join, and after he was done with fighting the Mafia goons they invite him to their team, and he accepts, with him saying "Uh yeah sure why not". Soon they go to an even worse place than the abandoned city, a literal Ghost town. They find the ghost of the Legendary Big Smoke in there. "Uh can you join our team to destroy the Mad Pooper?", said a somewhat scared Pooperton. "Uh sure thing but only if you give me some Cluckin' Bell, that way i can come back to life", said the Ghost of Big Smoke. "Of course!", said Pooperton. And so the promise is fullfilled as they give the ghost of Big Smoke all items on the Cluckin' Bell menu, with him ending up coming back to life. Thus they think their team is done, and so they build a ship made out of parts of both Feathersword's and Spinkleton's ships. When the ship was done they said all the way to Africa, where they find the extremely powerful Cooking Lord Ainsley Harriott cooking Jerky Chicken. The smell of the chicken contains so much of Ainsley's cooking power. "Oh dear lord Ainsley, we need you for our team to destroy the Mad Pooper!", said Pooperton, with him eventually explaining to Ainsley who the Mad Pooper is. "Yeh boiiiiiii", said Ainsley. And so the Team was complete as they went all the way to Egypt to take a pause from going all around Africa for Tibet, as they think that's where the Mad Pooper's location was hidden. However Pooperton, using his Pizza powers, detects a powerful object under the sand. He digs it out and finds a map to Vikkel'shikkel'ting, the Mad Pooper's actual location, Pooperton shows it to everyone. Eventually Pooperton, uses his power to go into space with his teammates with all of them surviving even without spacesuits. They go all around the Omniverse until they find a giant Black portal which Pooperton detects as Vikkel'shikkel'ting, and they all go inside of it. It is a dark, forrest-ish realm, with almost no life. However it turns out there is one inhabitant."" Fuck beings from another fucking universe!"said the mysterious inhabitant "You fuckerscant go in here, it's mine and the Mad Pooper's realm!" "How about you go and live on another realm!", said Pooperton. "No!", said the mysterious inhabitant. Eventually the mysterious inhabitant tried to fight the team, however he loses and goes the fuck away into another realm. And so the team finds a giant, dark Castle which is in a gothic medieval-ish style. As they secretly enter this castle all they see is a place full of darkness and strange shapes. As they go through the "rooms", they eventually find the Mad Pooper. "Oh my god", said all of them. They all see her true form, which resembles the Poop emoji. "I͕̹̝̜̠̤̱ ̱͈̖̭͟E̸XP҉ÉC͝T̗̝̳͎E̴͕̟̮̤̩͈͙D̲̫̭͈̖͢ Y̥͈͈̩̭̮͔̕O͈͈̞͈̟U̳̠̭̮̭͓ ̲̺̲̺̭ͅF̗͕̳̙̹̰U̹C̻̗͚͇͎͚̣͘K͍̳͚̗̀È͙̙͉R͍S̮", said the Mad Pooper in her Eldritch style The first one to fight her is Captain America, who keeps throwing his shield at her with it barely working. After that Ainsley Harriott uses his magical pepper, as he knows it's a weakness of her. His pepper temporarily weakens her, and it works. However she quickly regenerates her powers and the fighting continues. Bill Wilson then uses his Anti-Hothead powes against her. It somewhat works but she quickly regenerates. Big Smoke then uses baseball bat against her shit, with her shit deflecting back to her. Then both Feathersword and Spinkleworth use the cannons of their ships to shoot at her, she is only half weakened. Eventually however she weakens all of the members of the team, especially Pooperton. However as he was slowly dying, the spirit that told him of his destiny gives him the ultimate pizza powers. He eventually brings all of his teammates' powers back, and eventually creates portals for his teammates to go into. "Everyone! Go into the portals! It's for your survival!". said Pooperton. Eventually, Pooperton's powers are too much for the Mad Pooperton, she, Pooperton, and Vikkel'shikkel'ting are completely destroyed with no trace of the Mad Pooper existing anymore. Eventually, the Team learns about this, and they even have visions of Pooperton going into the Spaghettiverse, after he finally destroyed the Mad Pooper for good, Teh end. Behind the scenes Damn this is awful, but i love it for that Category:Blog posts Category:Pizzaroni V series